Sunday, 17 August 2014

A melancholic mid-afternoons surge of glitz

I took these photographs of my sister in the first few days of my summer holiday in a sort of crazy-burst-of-inspiration whirl.

I think they are kind of a reflective look about how the annual summer holidays are a little daunting for some people, because you have such high expectations for them throughout the year.

I hate feeling like I've wasted my time at all, but at the same time I struggle motivating myself to get things done, it happens quite a lot but becomes most apparent when I'm presented with a long period of complete freedom. I get stuck in a sort of sad uninspired rut, when I know have so much I want to get done but can't physically make myself interested in it, long enough to actually do it. I think it's partly the shock from the transition from scheduled hard-working exam revision at the end of the year to unstructured half-nocturnal holiday time.

I still get that ridiculously excited feeling about the prospect of the summer holidays like you get when you're really little, but as I've got older, I tend to put more pressure on myself to spend my free time in the most memorable and productive way possible, like organising to meet up with friends most days or getting school work done.

I get really frustrated when I'm motivated at the wrong time, like when I was supposed to be revising,

because I know that by the time, I'm free to actually do anything, I will have lost interest in the original idea. I tried to combat it this year by keeping a little notebook with me while I was revising to jot things down, so that by the time the holidays came, I wouldn't be stranded without any plans or projects, however when the time actually came to go through my list, I still got that frustrated demotivated feeling.

So whenever I found myself with even a hint of inspiration to do something I had to leap on the idea, before I fell back into a slumped bored state of watching another film or endlessly scrolling through tumblr.

I took theses photographs on one of those sad summer afternoons which just seems to flow effortlessly into the evening. I had left the glitter out on my chest of draws

from the last time I played with glitter (here). But rather than use mine again, I chose my sisters face to be the canvas, and put it on the same as last time, just normal arts and craft glitter applied with that really gloopy sticky lip gloss which was a makeup bag must-have when I was about nine.

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